Fun with Mad Libs

I remember as a kid playing with Mad Libs.  The problem was I had no clue what an adverb was and my nouns typically had something to do with poop or farts. (Don't act like you didn't either)  They were always a good time, but now that I'm more mature (just slightly) and with an extended vocabulary I questioned whether they'd have the same affect.  For your enjoyment I've constructed a Mad Lib below.

Noun ________

Noun ________

Adjective ________

Noun ________

Noun ________

Verb (past tense) ________

Noun ________

Physical Attribute ________

Noun ________

Verb ________

Verb ________

Verb ________

Noun ________

Adjective ________

Noun ________

Dear Voter,

                I am Mitt Romney and I am running for president.  I’m sending this letter in order to better inform the everyday person of where I stand on important polices and explain why I am the best candidate to represent you.

                I believe the poor are a ________ (noun) on society and therefore must be treated as such.  I am sick and tired of the ________ (noun) being able to take advantage of the hardworking government and citizens.  It must stop.  I also think our ________ (adjective) healthcare system, more commonly known as Obama-care  is ________ (noun).  Changes need to be made for the better.

                Recently a tape was discovered claiming I thought 47% of the country was ________ (noun), and therefore should be ________ (past tense verb).  It was taken out of context.  I believe all Americans are ________ (noun) no matter their ________ (physical attribute).  We’re all in this ________ (noun) together.  That’s why I intend to lower all taxes for citizens.  It’ll help the individual and ________ (verb) our government.  I've ________ (verb) the math; this will surely ________ (verb) our economy from our ________ (noun).

                Remember, I am merely a ________ (adjective) conservative candidate that’s on your ________ (noun).  That being said, I hope you better understand why I’m the right candidate for you and hope to count on your vote as a fellow American.

Romney

Does anyone know what Romney's true politics are?  Seriously, the guy can't keep a stance on anything.  First he essentially states that 47% of the country can go fuck themselves, then apologizes, claiming we're all together, and finally he's going with the notion that it was taken out of context.  BULLSHIT.  Not to mention his healthcare policies keep switching around.  We need to get rid of medicare....we need to keep medicare because old people vote........ Oye Romney, what do YOU actually believe?  Why is this actually a race? the guy doesn't believe in women's rights nor gay right's and considers the country to lack the comprehension of his financial plans.  How does lowering all taxes assist the financial defecate? (oh that's right, the math is too complicate for me to possibly understand)  Christ, if the guy wasn't so bound to his religion he'd probably be setting up booths to give every American head just for their vote.  Fill in the blank America, that's Romney's policy, until of course he gets elected.  Don't get me wrong, Obama is too tied down by our culture-fucked society as well   If I wasn't so threatened by the thought of Romney being elected I would certainly not vote.  How the fuck did we get stuck with a two party system?