If I Were Rich #1

I know I never really want to be rich, money corrupts and causes other problems, but I got to thinking the other day. (dangerous I know)  If I were to become rich, what would I do?  Charity would be high on the list, but I'd have to keep myself entertained somehow.  It's like that song "If I Had a $1,000,000".  Obviously I couldn't actually buy love, prostitutes aren't all its cracked up to be (it'd also take well over a million dollars for someone to fall in love with someone as "interesting" as myself)  That being said, I plan for this to be a running topic.

If I were Rich #1

You know how you occasionally, and depending where you are, see family reunion t-shirts, or if you want to be even tackier, family photos. (Seriously, who the hell thinks that's a good idea?)  I saw someone walking with one of those on the other day and couldn't help but plot.

My plan is simple.  Buy several shirts with a dumb photo of myself, perhaps giving a thumbs-up with a stupid grin.  Preferably in really bad colours as well, like crocks.  (what a stupid idea)  The next step is to donate, and it fair to say there's at least 100 of these horrific looking things, all of them to Goodwill.  And then we wait.  With any luck I'll be able to walk down the street and see me on other people's shirts.  All the time to I search for thrift stores for something awkward like that, but they never have any. (look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't want a random person's Christmas photo on a shirt)  Plus I'm giving to charity, everyone wins.

Worse case scenario, keep the T-Shirts and buy a T-Shirt Cannon.  Pack it all up and drive over to some shitty fast-food joint and then purchase a bunch of cheap, crap food.  Next step is to roll up next to pedestrians and throw said fast-food at them.  Now at first glance, this might seem like a cruel joke for ruining someone's clothes, and that's why we have the cannon.  Throw the food, fire a shirt at their gut, and drive off.  They'll be doubled over from the shot so that they can't recall the your license plate.  Like Burger Bowl Off with a bit of a twist. (cause I really wanna nail someone with a milkshake)