Much Love,
Teej
Catch and Release
There wasn’t a shred of hope in his situation. He was out of stamina, out of bullets, out of time. Looking down the dark barrel of a .45, he knew he was staring death in the face. The shots had been counted, their precious capability savoured by the instrument’s owner, and the two remaining guaranteed a closed casket; if he was fortunate enough to receive anything above a cold, unmarked grave.
Somewhere she could’ve sworn she’d heard howling in the background. Placing her book down for the third time she listened carefully. There it was again. Faint and eerie, the kind that inspires further investigation, let leaves a sinking dread within it’s wake. Venturing into the bookshop, Silvia crept silently, her senses heightened by adrenaline fueled from suspenseful fiction. The howling continued systematically. Down the spiral stairs, the cries, though muffled, echoed from behind the bookcase guarding the entrance to Steve’s lab. Determined to solve the mystery, Silvia activated the switch leading down; hands trembling. The shelf swung aside and the utterance leaped a number of decibels, encasing the building. The closer she came, the more human it sounded.
At the foot of the stairs everything became clear. Looking up from her position, a few feet above her head Steve dangled, entangled in what appeared to be some sort of snare.
“Silvia!”
Silvia stared at her employer, baffled by the strange occurrence before her. Although she’d experienced many since she’d taken the position, this particular oddity was beyond her.
“Steve…how’d you get up there?”
“Ah, thank god it’s you. Hurry and help me down. Be quiet about it now, we don’t want—“
It was too late to avoid raising her suspicion. From the top of the stairs she called down.
“Did I catch him?! Don’t let him down just yet Silve! I need to snag a photo!”
“Shit,” Steve sighed. He’d have to face defeat.
Rain ran down with a giddiness in her step. Around her neck strapped her ancient camera which she cradled in her arm. She had on a personalized exploring outfit that appeared to be authentic to the ridiculous beige safari cap. She even managed to bring a canteen around her waist while clutching to a pair of binoculars.
“Well, well. What have we got here?” She circled the trap, examining her catch. “Looks to be an adult male, fairly healthy, despite the age and the gut; must have been here for at least an hour. What do you think Silvia; worth having for a trophy?”
“Sometimes I wonder how I could’ve fallen for such a crazy person.”
“This is awfully unnecessary, Rain?”
“A tiger trap wouldn’t have worked so I had to make due. The catch is less to be desired with such effort though,” she smirked.
“And what about that outfit? Where’d you dig that from?” Silvia marveled.
“Still fits as well as it did in Africa, doesn’t it, Steven?”
“If I say ‘yes’, will you let me down?”
“Not until you admit I was right,” she laughed.
Silvia shook her head in disbelief. “Another one of your disagreements? What’d he try to get away with?”
The blood rushing to Steve’s head, he laid contorted in the mesh of rope. “You know you’re insane. Fine, you were right, I was wrong. You’re such a clever little genius. Can you please cut me down?”
“Oh, alright. Silvia, can you lend us a hand?”
Grasping on tight to the rope, she watched as Rain retrieved a knife from her belt, splitting the pulley system. She did her best to ease Steve’s descent, but it resulted in a thud anyway. He groaned as he met the ground.
“I hardly think this is an appropriate response.”
“You said it was impossible!”
Silvia was as confused as ever. “Is someone going to explain this to me?”
Rain controlled her giggling. “We watched a film last night and Steven here complained the whole time. Said that building a tiger trap indoors would never work; claimed it was too noticeable.”
Steve had freed himself from imprisonment by now and rose from the pile of papers he’d landed on. “It’s absolutely ridiculous and impractical.”
“—because the idea that the protagonist could ever win over a girl like that is?! I just proved that it works.”
“She dumped a bunch of papers over a net, set up a tripwire at the bottom of the stairs, all in the sole attempt at trapping me!”
Silvia began to laugh at the bickering couple. The feud was beyond surreal. Their quarrels knew no bounds of rationality.
“Steve, how is this any different than the water balloon trebuchet attached to the door handle?”
“Holy water balloon,” Rain reminded her, “and what was that? To ward off vampires?”
“You knew I was going to hate that title before we went to see it! That was all your fault. And how do you— Why’d you tell her about that?!”
Silvia had taken it upon herself to rule as referee in their plots against one another and had occasionally participated. “Sorry Steve, this round goes to Laura Croft and the tiger trap.”
“Just be glad I didn’t bring down the tranquilizer dart gun,” she beamed, accepting her victory with a celebratory dance.
Steve smirked at his lover with the affection you could manage after years of admiration. She’d beat him fair and square. “You do still look wonderful in those clothes. Such a cruel mistress time has been on me though.”
She wrapped her arms around him, “You tell such fantastic lies. You know you’re still my ‘jungle man’.”
“Seeing the kind of antics you manage today,” Silvia chimed in, “can’t help but imagine the eccentric pranks you pulled 15 years ago.”
The couple exchanged expression, both laughing as they reminisced. “We’ve definitely gotten more creative though our years.”
Rain nodded in agreement, “There’s no way we would fall for some of the stunts we tried to pull earlier.”
“I remember the day where all it took was popping from a proper hiding spot or loosening a few screws.”
“Painting a trompe l'oeil over the bedroom door, leaving a snake in the cupboard…”
“You fell for a rubber snake?!” Silvia looked surprised at Steve.
“No, a real one,” she giggle as Steve placed his arm around her.
“And we mustn’t forget—“ Steve began and Rain joined in, “The ‘Treaty of Versailles’ after the super glue incident.”
“We’ve come a long way.”
Silvia was impressed. “You two are the perfect amount of crazy for each other. Love must just be like a war of antics.”
Steve laughed. “No, love is a war of antics.”
Rain gave him a funny look and shook her head. “That was so lame.” She kissed him on the cheek anyway.
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