Kiss And Tell

I used to work with a couple of characters whom, over the years, became like family to me.  Its where a gained my older brother and had a grand old time making each other laugh.  Part of this joking around included the singing of some of the worst songs ever made. ("Hello" by Lionel Richie was a personal favourite)  It was devised while at work that we were to assemble a "boy band" under the name of "Kiss And Tell".  The idea was to make lyrics as offensive as possible while maintaining the pseudonym of a cliche "boy band".  Unfortunately for the cause, neither of us had much musical talent; I had written a couple of songs awhile back and write the occasional poem but it looked fairly bleak for Kiss And Tell.

When Jason moved away, its made it even harder to record that which we never wrote.  Recently however, I did sit down and write out an idea that we had for a title, though never got a single lyric to.  Its fits our criteria for offensive (sorry mom), I got an idea for the beat, and I a fairly strong desire to record this at some point.  Lemme know what you think; this one's called "I'll Take A Wank Over You"

I'll Take A Wank Over You

Lyrics by: The Teej

Sitting by myself

You took the seat next to me

Your words are like Greek Poems

Drunk and confusing

You said you were feeling hot

Honest girl, I'm just not

You asked where I was off

I turned and kept my voice soft

When the lights turned low

Made your way over here

You got an ugly ass face

Could make a man queer

I tried to play nice

But what's a guy to do

To be honest girl

I'll take a wank over you

Dancing in the club

Just me and the boys

Raisin' the roof

Just to make some fuckin' noise

Then the honeys roll in

And everything gets mellow

I wave to you

Come dance with me

Things start warming up

And the music gets loud

Can't keep a straight face

You ask whats wrong

Imma tell you girl

See if you can't sing along

Bitch you got two left feet

And I think that's a crime

Two left feet

Bitch I just don't have the time

I tried to play nice

But what's a guy to do

To be honest girl

I'll take a wank over you

Fumbling up the stairs

Back to my place

Your tongue in my mouth

Tryin' to keep up the pace

Collapse on the couch

When the good becomes great

You mutter something soft

I start to hesitate

Bitch what the fuck is love?!

I'm just trying to get laid

You go talking up shit

And the mood starts to fade

I tried to play nice

Whats a guy to do

To be honest girl

I'll take a wank over you